Sunday, November 7, 2010

Vampire

She was referred to the general surgeon with non-specific abdominal symptoms.

She was playing with her daughter one day and suddenly became nauseated, and since then has had nausea on and off.
My brain: nothing. No idea.

She’s been feeling exceptionally cold
My brain: ooh - maybe she’s a vampire?

She’s been off solid food and can only drink liquids
My brain: she’s probably a vampire

She’s suddenly repulsed by the smell of garlic. She even feels like vomiting when somebody says the word ‘garlic’
My brain: she’s a vampire she’s a vampire she’s a vampire

The surgeon wasn’t sure about a diagnosis and booked her for endoscopy. After she left he turned to me and asked what I thought.
My brain: vampire vampire vampire vampire vampire
Me: I, um ... I really have no idea

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

you can't endoscope a vampire! its a trap!

Pink Stethoscopes said...

If you can't identify a vampire on the first consultation (a basic clinical skill) then you deserve to get caught out. It's a shame though, he was a good surgeon.

pAnDaR~ said...

being pregnant could have heightened her olfactory senses....

that or...

she's a zombie!!! (well, ok brains don't come liquified)

PTR said...

You'll have no credibility at all if you give a ddx of "vampire". You have to say "wampyre" and you'll sound like Van Helsing and everyone wyll be wery impressed.