Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Quoteblog #9

I had a bad tummy-wog and I got over that – now I have this sniffle-nose!” – 81-year-old man giving his recent medical history

You’re having a rough trot, aren’t you?” – Nurse to 93yo lady with bilateral pneumonia
I’ve been on better trots” – patient

My nightie’s all scrunched up and it’s hurting my tail” – elderly female patient

I yell, I think, when I’m on the phone” – nurse. She does.

In [my town] I don’t quite know what that means (being well-connected). Like you know somebody that’s got lots of sheep” – rural student

I don’t do vaginas unless it’s recreational!” – male student starting O&G rotation

And this poor little med student’s waiting for Dr C” – nurse giving commentary as I waited outside a consulting room.

What drugs do you need?” – Renal physician to renal transplant patient on follow-up
Nothing. Oh, a bit of heroin I suppose” – patient

I’ve been haemorrhaging for three years” – patient with persistent haematuria post-TURP

I can’t handle these crackpot f-ing midwives” – GP after an argument in the delivery suite

It fuctuates" – Patient, regarding his blood pressure.

So multiple sclerosis is like, I don’t know, acne” – neurology professor

1 comment:

*C said...

"I'm taking glucosamine, vitamin C and euthanasia".