- Arrive 5 minutes late
- Open the door a fraction, poke your nose in and look around just with your eyes. Nobody ever gets curious about half-open doors.
- Whisper, “excuse me” while the speaker is talking, just in case there is somebody who hasn’t looked at you yet.
- Make eye contact with everybody as you make your way to your seat, making sure to whisper “excuse me” and “thank you” as you pass.
- Leave your phone on Loud, and make sure somebody calls you after 15 minutes or so.
- Apologise to everyone, making a grimacing face as you do so – that way they know you’re sincere.
- Answer the phone anyway – that way everybody knows how important you are.
- If necessary, repeat all of the above steps upon re-entering the room.
Thank you, blonde lady who came to the lecture today. Yes, the 11 of us in the room noticed you - well done.