Naturopath

"I went to the naturopath who said I'm gluten intolerant, lactose intolerant, anaemic and I've got parasites in my digestive system. He said the blood tests were very expensive so I thought you could do them".

Me: "Well you had a blood test last week and your haemoglobin was 141, so you're definitely not anaemic"

"Ok, well what about the gene test for Coeliac?"

Me: "We don't usually do a gene test for Coeliac's disease, but the antibody tests you had last year were all negative, and your symptoms are not typical, so you probably don't have it"

"What blood test do you do to test for intestinal parasites? The naturopath said he could do a blood test for $300 to tell me which parasites I have"

"No he can't. But here's a stool pot - scoop up some poo using this scoopy bit and we'll sent it off to check for parasites"

"I'm taking these two very expensive vials of magical natural goodness, will they affect the tests?"

"Shouldn't do, see you in a few weeks"

"Oh, can you bulk bill me for today? I already spent several hundred dollars at the naturopath"

WHY??? Why is the naturopath worth paying but the doctor is not? This guy just told you a whole bunch of lies, charged you an extortionate amount for the privelage of being told you're allergic to bread, and now I have to clean up the mess.

I'm not doing it for free.