She was referred to the general surgeon with non-specific abdominal symptoms.She was playing with her daughter one day and suddenly became nauseated, and since then has had nausea on and off.
My brain: nothing. No idea.
She’s been feeling exceptionally cold
My brain: ooh - maybe she’s a vampire?
She’s been off solid food and can only drink liquids
My brain: she’s probably a vampire
She’s suddenly repulsed by the smell of garlic. She even feels like vomiting when somebody says the word ‘garlic’
My brain: she’s a vampire she’s a vampire she’s a vampire
The surgeon wasn’t sure about a diagnosis and booked her for endoscopy. After she left he turned to me and asked what I thought.
My brain: vampire vampire vampire vampire vampire
Me: I, um ... I really have no idea
5 comments:
you can't endoscope a vampire! its a trap!
If you can't identify a vampire on the first consultation (a basic clinical skill) then you deserve to get caught out. It's a shame though, he was a good surgeon.
being pregnant could have heightened her olfactory senses....
that or...
she's a zombie!!! (well, ok brains don't come liquified)
You'll have no credibility at all if you give a ddx of "vampire". You have to say "wampyre" and you'll sound like Van Helsing and everyone wyll be wery impressed.
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