Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Quoteblog #9

“I had a bad tummy-wog and I got over that – now I have this sniffle-nose!” – 81-year-old man giving his recent medical history

“You’re having a rough trot, aren’t you?” – Nurse to 93yo lady with bilateral pneumonia
“I’ve been on better trots” – patient

“My nightie’s all scrunched up and it’s hurting my tail” – elderly female patient

“I yell, I think, when I’m on the phone” – nurse. She does.

“In [my town] I don’t quite know what that means (being well-connected). Like you know somebody that’s got lots of sheep” – rural student

“I don’t do vaginas unless it’s recreational!” – male student starting O&G rotation

“And this poor little med student’s waiting for Dr C” – nurse giving commentary as I waited outside a consulting room.

“What drugs do you need?” – Renal physician to renal transplant patient on follow-up
“Nothing. Oh, a bit of heroin I suppose” – patient

“I’ve been haemorrhaging for three years” – patient with persistent haematuria post-TURP

“I can’t handle these crackpot f-ing midwives” – GP after an argument in the delivery suite

“It fuctuates" – Patient, regarding his blood pressure.

“So multiple sclerosis is like, I don’t know, acne” – neurology professor

1 comment:

*C said...

"I'm taking glucosamine, vitamin C and euthanasia".