tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2531866936645897022024-02-22T18:53:43.121+10:30Pink StethoscopesPink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.comBlogger395125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-47095088282773560452014-09-26T11:36:00.001+09:302014-09-26T11:39:45.477+09:30Book a double<p dir=ltr>"Perhaps next time when you have a big list like this, you could book a double appointment?" I nicely suggested at the end of a protracted consult.</p>
<p dir=ltr>"This is a double, sweety", my patient nicely replied.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Well, then. Ok.</p>
Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-19417881392342317882014-09-23T18:51:00.001+09:302014-09-23T18:51:38.872+09:30Running late<p dir=ltr>I hate running late. Hate it. Which is unfortunate for a GP, because sometimes people's troubles cannot be fixed and documented in only 15 minutes. </p>
<p dir=ltr>By the end of today I was running an hour late and I could see the setting sun through my window. I braced myself for complaints and called in my final patient. In he walks, smiles and says, "well there's no early minute for you today!"</p>
<p dir=ltr>Whew. Patients are people too - and nice people.</p>
Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-41548865130075021592014-06-06T15:43:00.001+09:302014-06-06T15:43:54.468+09:30Hair styling<p dir=ltr>5yo girl, as we head to the consulting rooms, "Do you like my hair? Do you like my hair style?"</p>
<p dir=ltr>"I do" I reply, duly examining her messy ponytail. "Who did it?"</p>
<p dir=ltr>"Daddy did ... but he didn't do much of a job"</p>
Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-29576414972823821352014-05-31T20:06:00.001+09:302014-05-31T20:06:54.678+09:30Dress code<p dir=ltr>You know you're in the country when they have to specify "no denim" for a ball. </p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE1lceplatnVv4NEXgsyd3B7LVOyoxRjZlj5mTrTqfLj9-1dlv77rS10-OVh4h_nwWZmBX5t3ggjND03VWvThxcbcUtQrE8gznofIxDumBa1loUg1V3MYZ2BQoGJrA0Pf2sJfJU6kJPYI/s1600/CAM00889-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE1lceplatnVv4NEXgsyd3B7LVOyoxRjZlj5mTrTqfLj9-1dlv77rS10-OVh4h_nwWZmBX5t3ggjND03VWvThxcbcUtQrE8gznofIxDumBa1loUg1V3MYZ2BQoGJrA0Pf2sJfJU6kJPYI/s640/CAM00889-1.jpg"> </a> </div>Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-12557125251639427582014-05-30T21:37:00.001+09:302014-05-30T21:37:51.593+09:30Fonts<p dir=ltr>At least my allocated password only contains one l. Or 1. Or something.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfSnZK3oI3VY2yGt3zGsSSU8oklgasbz1bqG2B2QhgcdzaPfzW3To3sbiyeFYq0kZ2wTmw7U0qqslDDR6Nq_ZPvCWJtjQytfSC9gytAZpULLdd3Cpxs1wpVeYyQR3LeFDMfDvYRaLNGyw/s1600/CAM00981-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfSnZK3oI3VY2yGt3zGsSSU8oklgasbz1bqG2B2QhgcdzaPfzW3To3sbiyeFYq0kZ2wTmw7U0qqslDDR6Nq_ZPvCWJtjQytfSC9gytAZpULLdd3Cpxs1wpVeYyQR3LeFDMfDvYRaLNGyw/s640/CAM00981-1.jpg"> </a> </div>Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-33877635313381582832014-04-21T14:05:00.001+09:302014-04-21T14:05:52.264+09:30Lawns<p dir=ltr>The lawns at my new place are quite expansive and seem to grow unnaturally fast. At first I bought a push mower to keep them under control, and spent 12 joyless hours one day cutting my cursed grass.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Even then I didn't finish, running aground on an ancient artefact kindly left by the previous owner.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I have since learned that a ride-on mower is a worthy investment.</p>
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<p dir=ltr>I'm now living the dream, working 9-5 as a GP registrar at the same practice where it all started with my third-year placement. I still have my little dog Sprite, who is soon to be joined by a new puppy - Soda. </p>
<p dir=ltr>I actually bought a house with some land, with hopes of bringing my horses down here with me ... this is on hold for now because I accidentally broke my arm while pulling out the old fences. Ugh. One more month in plaster.</p>
Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-80474257199854747902013-12-24T07:20:00.001+10:302013-12-24T07:20:57.680+10:30Exactly<p dir=ltr>"Do you know where you are?" - nurse to patient<br>
"I know EXACTLY where I am" - indignant patient<br>
"Where are you?"<br>
"Well I don't know exactly ... "</p>
Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-9630499860356520502013-11-26T23:21:00.001+10:302013-11-28T16:21:19.769+10:30Alvesco <p dir=ltr>Morning doctor: "What can you tell me about Alvesco?"<br>
Me: "sounds very familiar, is he on the cardiac ward?"<br>
Morning doctor: "Alvesco is a medication"</p>
Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-73952434710295198432013-11-22T00:40:00.001+10:302013-11-22T00:43:27.898+10:30Haunted<p dir=ltr>Nurse, "room 405 is haunted ... ... that's your office"<br>
Me, "my office is 404"<br>
Nurse, "that's what I meant"</p>
<p dir=ltr>I totally laughed her off, but I'm keeping the lights on.</p>
Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-69878043497047913232013-11-21T07:12:00.001+10:302013-11-24T07:43:40.463+10:30Dreams<p dir=ltr>I had to wake up a sweet old lady for her blood test this morning. It's pretty much the worst, waking someone up to jab them with a needle.</p>
<p dir=ltr>She was especially upset though, because in her dream a gorgeous man was just abut to jump into bed with her.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I left her with a passing comment that I'd let her get back to her gorgeous man. She just gave me a withering look and said "dreams don't work that way, dear".</p>
Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-53568286846747475002013-11-12T10:16:00.001+10:302013-11-12T10:19:59.941+10:30Muffins<p dir=ltr>This is an actual page I got in the wee hours of this morning ...</p>
<p dir=ltr>"Hello Dr, I'm calling from the cardiac ward. We have a couple of jobs waiting for you but more importantly we have muffins. Some are chocolate with choc chips, and some are just choc chip. Whenever you're ready."</p>
<p dir=ltr>Best ever!</p>
Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-65453796626326983852013-11-08T21:15:00.001+10:302013-11-09T05:40:13.806+10:30Night shift<p dir=ltr>I started another term of medical nights this week. For the next three months I will work seven 12 1/2 hour night shifts in a row, followed by seven days off. </p>
<p dir=ltr>I've done it before over winter, and chose to do it again because of the valuable experience you can only get on nights. Haha ... actually the pay is really good and I like having every second week off. </p>
<p dir=ltr>I used to think the first night was always the hardest, but I've just remembered otherwise. It's the night after your first proper daytime sleep. I'm struggling right now!</p>
Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-12532771737600410212013-11-07T06:59:00.001+10:302013-11-07T21:51:52.464+10:30Delete<p dir="ltr">It turns out you can accidentally delete a patient's file from the emergency department simply by leaning your elbows on the keyboard.</p>
<p dir="ltr">As far as we can tell, there is no actual key sequence that does this - you have to use your elbows. I am not the only one to have done this, by the way.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5LnCb8OG6V0hBthZjzzRosYc9Ynn-PIxuixLVbmNiL6W9-7TypdxK_ZuTHwh0y6_6n3DvuV6MRoYVgREJ5TsIkcNbA3f3v1HYPneMHrRIrOWoSUMK-X5Q4jwuKJ3jdBvDjiL9-2reD_0/s1600/CAM00417-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5LnCb8OG6V0hBthZjzzRosYc9Ynn-PIxuixLVbmNiL6W9-7TypdxK_ZuTHwh0y6_6n3DvuV6MRoYVgREJ5TsIkcNbA3f3v1HYPneMHrRIrOWoSUMK-X5Q4jwuKJ3jdBvDjiL9-2reD_0/s640/CAM00417-1.jpg"> </a> </div>Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-59807965553991162632013-11-07T01:51:00.001+10:302013-11-10T07:45:59.816+10:30Aggressive-aggressive notes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxFYFi9MvyhQAnyQzKp7oAg5X8LVLKnvWBtdFRIjJm4In524w3KINUmkB04Z04QeNRCIwYclLd7fJg28Tf0QWVhUd-wPOI1GCAv6-YPQdUu4423dmSX-9eDkBplowvtqFvZ62AS71lLkI/s1600/CAM00463.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxFYFi9MvyhQAnyQzKp7oAg5X8LVLKnvWBtdFRIjJm4In524w3KINUmkB04Z04QeNRCIwYclLd7fJg28Tf0QWVhUd-wPOI1GCAv6-YPQdUu4423dmSX-9eDkBplowvtqFvZ62AS71lLkI/s640/CAM00463.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Got that?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br></div>Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-50879041039612146362013-11-07T01:30:00.001+10:302013-11-07T01:30:41.581+10:30Pagers<p dir=ltr>I do wonder how many times this happened before they made a sign ...</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFO7JSDe5xXE62iOgip2LueR27BEUIwxrFULh8UyL7aSSzNfUuqVu5klj7wibZ7Fb9K84W5w5z0_II5Q91tx8J3Ihhorzmxd6HqVlM6KIluD0hCNwFNWuxnoWgYYARlcxKpbMzrq3_aM8/s1600/CAM00644.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFO7JSDe5xXE62iOgip2LueR27BEUIwxrFULh8UyL7aSSzNfUuqVu5klj7wibZ7Fb9K84W5w5z0_II5Q91tx8J3Ihhorzmxd6HqVlM6KIluD0hCNwFNWuxnoWgYYARlcxKpbMzrq3_aM8/s640/CAM00644.jpg"> </a> </div>Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-87396719053723483952013-08-05T10:00:00.001+09:302013-11-07T03:39:12.068+10:30Short calls<p dir=ltr>Asked to see patient: needs pain relief</p>
<p dir=ltr>Patient admitted with shortness of breath, treated for exacerbation of COPD.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Currently denies any pain.</p>
<p dir=ltr>Patient states he is thirsty - "all I want is a drink of water".</p>
<p dir=ltr>Plan: patient may drink water</p>
<p dir=ltr>Signed, Dr S (medical RMO)</p>
Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-28080103170887942792013-07-02T07:16:00.001+09:302013-07-02T11:13:07.707+09:30Grumpy RMO<p dir=ltr>Night shifts make me grumpy. </p>
<p dir=ltr>I have updated our handover board accordingly.</p>
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<p dir=ltr>Oh God.</p>
<p dir=ltr>I'm becoming some kind of hippie.</p>
Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-45131419324869031192013-06-19T21:17:00.000+09:302013-06-29T10:01:51.185+09:30SimplifySpeak slowly, use small words.<div><br></div><div>Preferably diagrams.</div><div><br></div><div><br>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmPCSpH9bgx-45rmkQmaXfKCucII-1tpFdveuUp72kW686kQsgjcbAyKJONlZbmuVSNaTNvtFf6HZZDR_zIoqWBtcJG8usCAWbxquA3s27YlQ4JgrT5V_JHntz_rL5EPQ-F3s35BopwDs/s1600/CAM00189.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmPCSpH9bgx-45rmkQmaXfKCucII-1tpFdveuUp72kW686kQsgjcbAyKJONlZbmuVSNaTNvtFf6HZZDR_zIoqWBtcJG8usCAWbxquA3s27YlQ4JgrT5V_JHntz_rL5EPQ-F3s35BopwDs/s640/CAM00189.jpg"> </a> </div>Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-44828401547418812292013-06-16T00:47:00.001+09:302013-06-16T00:47:33.073+09:30Happy WorkdayI'm in the middle of a three-month term of medical nights. Seven 12-hour night shifts in a row, followed by a week off. Rinse, re-adjust body clock and repeat. It's not so bad.<br />
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But today is my birthday. At midnight I had a celebratory cupcake (thanks to my little sister) and the nurses all said happy birthday. And after I've slept the day away today, I'll come back for another 12 hour shift and it will still be my birthday. The prospect of working twice on my birthday does not excite me.<br />
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There had better be more cake.Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-58453529153410775262013-05-18T17:55:00.000+09:302013-05-18T17:55:43.275+09:30SputumI hate sputum. It is definitely in my top 5 least favourite bodily fluids. Somehow though, patients are especially proud of their sputum. They will endeavour to produce a sample right in front of you, showing it off like a new baby. They will dig through their rubbish bag to find you a particularly interesting sample from last night.<br />
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I even had a patient who apparently collected it at home. "I fill up *that* much of a coffee can in a week", he told me.<br />
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That's a lot of commitment to sputum.Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-4000455130623355162013-05-16T22:10:00.000+09:302013-05-16T22:10:01.709+09:30Catching fire"Was it last year we had someone catch fire? That was in the foyer here"<br />
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- senior medical consultant on why we can't give home oxygen to smokersPink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-253186693664589702.post-32832694318454007852013-04-09T21:02:00.002+09:302013-04-09T21:02:24.954+09:30Pillow talk<div style="text-align: center;">
This almost broke my heart today.</div>
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Poor, helpless folder.</div>
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Pink Stethoscopeshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14567782491511833878noreply@blogger.com0